Crohn’s Colitis: One in a Million: part 2

I am sitting on vacation, overlooking the ocean at 6:30 in the morning and I am thinking about the “One in a Million” post.  Maybe the doctor is right.  Maybe I am putting too much pressure on people.  My dream for this blog was simple.  I was looking to help people with their illnesses.  Any illnesses:  Crohn’s Colitis, Cancer, Diabetes, etc.  I truly believed that after all these years of meditating, I could help people create a simple technique for themselves.
Meditation is like an Oreo cookie.  I always tell my class it needs the top of the cookie, which in meditation is the beginning:  the place you go to calm the chatter of the mind.  The stuffing of the cookie is what you envision: your end game, your end goal, the picture of your new life.  The bottom of the cookie is about what you do after meditation, taking meditation into your daily life.  It is reminding yourself throughout the day that you have created a new life. It is taking the time everyday – when you remember –  to do your best to reinforce your creation of your new life.  It is asking the hard questions of yourself  (do I need this thought, this feeling, this habit?) and work towards making changes.
Granted I have to admit it was not easy.  I had to recreate myself from what people (family, friends, culture) wanted me to be, to who I am now.  That’s what meditation does.  It gives you a small space to look at yourself and make a choice:  is this action, this thought, or this feeling the best for me?  How would my life be without it?  Do I even want to try?
I know how hard it is to try something new, to try something different, and the biggest challenge is to put all the responsibility on your own shoulders and have faith that you, yourself, are going to create wellness in your body, in your mind, in your life. One of the biggest, hardest habits to break is to forgive yourself when you do not remember.  One moment at a time worked for me.  Maybe after a hard day’s work, you might get tired and slip back into your old habits again.  Forgive yourself. With time, you will catch yourself more and more.  Practice is the key.
The thing that surprises me most was what my target goal did for me.   My target was to heal myself, but I found that it was very much the small tip of a huge iceberg.  My illness, my Crohn’s Colitis, was what saved my life.  It made me look deep into myself.  When I started making changes in my life, my health improved, until I did not need my illness anymore.   And it was that tip of the iceberg that opened up the doors to the life I live now.