Do You Really Want to Know the Truth?
When I first started teaching people I would ask them “do you really want to know the truth?” I did this because when I figured out the truth there was no turning back. The truth is different in everyone’s life and how they deal with it. The truth is about living with awareness.
I found before I meditated, my life was made up of a time line of stories and each story had meaning. These stories shaped everything from how I walked, talked, ate, breathed, looked, to what clothes I wore or didn’t. These stories have a name: it is called ego.
When I started meditating every day I started to see the holes in my story, in my life, and I started seeing the limited knowledge that the ego possessed. I started seeing how when the ego felt it was in danger of being exposed as a fake it would turn to fear, hate, depression, and anger. I saw how the ego was not telling me who I was but what everyone else thought I should be, or what I thought everyone wanted me to be, or what I was told to be.
I started seeing how the ego created my sickness and also controlled it to keep my true self off balance. I saw how it would use guilt and fear to bring up doubt about if I was on the right path or not. This is the reason I have been meditating every day for the last twenty years or so.
When I used meditation to cure myself of Crohn’s Colitis I was afraid of sliding right back into what I knew as my story and that was sickness. I was afraid that if I quit meditating it would be twice as hard the second time around, to get back into it. I also knew if I stopped meditating I would be living between two worlds: one world of present moment, creation, and living with a purpose of stripping the stories of ego and having the authentic self emerge, or the world of ego, falling back into controlling stories of fear and doubt. And once I knew the choices, if I did not choose awareness, the worst thought of all was knowing there was a better way to live and I did not choose it. So, do you want to know the truth?