Crohn’s Colitis: I Want Some……


I Want Some……

For a time in my life I searched for the building blocks of true self. Here are some of the big ones: respect, love, appreciation and praise.  I believe each person is unique and is looking for their own personal building blocks of true self, perhaps what they feel is lacking inside of themselves.  I have been around the block of life long enough to realize that you don’t receive these building blocks of true self from other people.  To truly receive the building blocks of true self you need to give them to yourself. 

When you give yourself the building blocks of true self then you can share them with the people around you. Let’s use love and appreciation as examples. When you are looking for love and appreciation you may find it is hard to receive them.  Offers from others might feel fake and hollow or whatever good feelings you receive from other people’s words or actions are very short lived.  You end up looking again to have someone else try to fill the emptiness inside of yourself.

I know it’s hard on your ego to say “hey, I respect, love and appreciate, myself” (or whatever else you need at the moment), but try it. 

I can only talk about my life on this one but I was not taught to believe and fill myself with these gifts, these building blocks of true self.  For a long time, growing up, I only experienced receiving some of these building blocks from others as rewards given to me after I performed the action the other person wanted. I feel it was a way to control me or keep me under wraps.

When I made the leap to fill myself with love, respect, appreciation and praise, I found that I could share these gifts with others, and with giving them I felt more full and more complete.  I also felt I could receive them from others without feeling hollow or incomplete.  I didn’t need to look for these building blocks outside of myself because they were inside of me and always around me.  I am not going to tell you it is easy to feel this way about myself all the time. I too slip back into seeking out the gifts from others. But sooner more often than later, I fill myself again with what I need and return to feeling better about myself.

I hope this helped you and maybe you too can take the leap and fill yourself.

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