To Diane

Crohn’s Colitis: To Diane

To Diane

I have been trying to write something for this holiday season, but nothing is coming out.  I have written some stuff but it is not what I want to post.  The world lost someone this week who happens to be from my family.

I hate that I have lost my sister-in-law this week.  I hate to see my wife sad and suffering and worrying about how everything is going to turn out.  I hate that my nieces have to live without their mother and friend.  I hate to see my bother-in-law lose the love of his life.

I hate feeling the empty space that this has created in my family.  I also hate that I feel so selfish that I want something back that God has taken.  Yes, I have asked why, and the sad part is I know the answer.

It was her time; her mission on earth was over.  She has done her duty and now we as a family have to grow inside of ourselves and pick up the baton and carry it to the finish line on our own.   I tell my wife, no matter what happens, the sun will rise tomorrow.

I know that as the days, weeks and months pass, the hole that was created by the loss of Diane will be filled in and everyone will grow and the family will survive.  But, as God as my witness, it will not be the same or even close to it.  In some ways we will be better and in other ways we will be sadly lacking, but in those times of need of strength I will look at her picture and smile and ask Diane, “what do you think?”

Di, you are missed but we will do our best.